If you haven’t noticed, over the last few months I have been finding it increasingly difficult to keep up with my publishing schedule.
It’s hard in times like these to not let the old unhealthy habits come creeping back in. I’ve been struggling with overwhelm, with my mental health, and with some family issues for the last few months that have made it next to impossible to want to deal with anything Creating Self Love.
And do you know what?
That is completely okay.
Perfectionism is something I used to struggle with all the time, but being perfect is something that I know isn’t real. And as much as I have grown and learned so much about myself and loving myself and my own happiness—I know that I need to give myself grace and permission to not be okay all of the time.
I’ve felt bad old habits creeping in. All I’ve been wanting to do these last few months is come home and climb into bed and sleep. Or stress eat. I haven’t wanted to take care of myself or my loved ones. I feel like my default mode in times of difficulty or overwhelm is sloth mode. I want to hibernate in my bed, eat crappy food, sleep and watch a ridiculous amount of reality television until I forget about my problems.
And I will be honest—for the last few months I wasn’t careful and I have let myself slip back into all of those old unhealthy habits.
The problem with that is that by giving in and doing that, I am undoing all of the progress I have made so far. I am letting myself give into bad habits and into things that I know will make me feel good for the short term—but will hurt me in the long term.
So now I have been trying my best to force myself to do what the new me—what the dream me that I want so desperately to be—would do.
Instead of climbing into bed after work, I force myself to take my dogs for a walk.
Instead of picking up fast food on the way home and curling up on the couch, I cook a healthy yet satisfying meal for my entire family.
Instead of watching hours upon hours of Netflix and Prime, I play cards with my stepsons or go catch up with a friend I haven’t seen in a while.
Instead of climbing into bed right after I get home, I do my skincare routine, take a hot bath, and read that new thriller book on my Kindle.
And it’s slowly working.
I can feel myself starting to wake up again and come back to the world.
It just might take some time.
And that is okay. I will be back soon.
Take care of yourself,
Caitlin
