6 Reasons Why It’s Not Selfish To Love Yourself

A pretty woman sits at an office desk in a crown.

Growing up, many of us are taught that if you are not putting other people before yourself, you are being selfish.

Think about it.

Some of the first things we are taught when we are young are to play nice and share our toys or share our candy with the other children.

But the truth is that it could be said that a lack of self-love could actually negatively impact the people around us without us even realizing it.

The main reason why it’s not selfish to love yourself is because taking proper care of ourselves enables us to take much better care of everything, and everyone else around us.

If you want to know six reasons why it’s not selfish to love yourself, keep reading. In this post, I’ll explain the six reasons why self-love isn’t selfish, and some of the ways that you can start practicing self-love today.

Is it selfish to love yourself?

1) By making yourself a priority, you have more time and energy to devote to others

It can be easy to understand how making yourself the first priority in your life may sound selfish to other people.

When you get married, people expect you to put your partner first. If you have children, people expect you to make your children the number one priority. However, by making sure you are happy, healthy, and well taken care of before anything or anyone else, you are able to better take care of the people and things around you.

Do you know how they say in a plane crash that you need to put your own oxygen mask on before you put a mask on anyone else? Self-love is just like that.

Do you think you are the best version of yourself for others when you are tired? What about hungry? Stressed out?

Do you think that version of you is great to be around and makes the best decisions?

The answer to those questions is no. You cannot take the best care of anything or anyone else if your tanks are running on empty and you have nothing left to give to anyone else. So by putting yourself first and focusing on self-care and loving yourself, you have more to give to those around you.

2) Self-love makes you a more positive person

Self-love isn’t about thinking you are better than everyone else around you. It isn’t about becoming self-absorbed or self-indulgent and forgetting that the people around you exist. Instead, it’s about fostering a positive relationship with yourself where you take better care of yourself, believe in yourself and fully support yourself. When you are kinder, more gentle and more forgiving with yourself, that kindness and positivity begins to rub off on the people surrounding you as well.

3) Selfish and self-absorbed people actually lack self-love

This can seem confusing to some people since most people think of self-absorbed or narcissistic people as those who love themselves too much. But the truth is that their superior behavior actually stems from a place of deep insecurity and lack of self-esteem. They behave like they are better than the people around them because they are attempting to prove that they are. If they have to put that much effort into proving it then that means they usually don’t believe it themselves.

4) Self-love improves your confidence which can inspire others

Can you think of someone that you aspire to be like? Maybe they are successful, or happy, or are actively chasing their dreams. What is it about that person exactly that inspires you? The chances are that person seems confident and happy with who they are. When you learn to love yourself, it helps to ease many of your doubts and fears which motivates you to go after the things you want more freely. This in turn can inspire the people around you to do the same.

5) Self-love helps us to develop empathy for others

When we begin to accept ourselves, flaws and all, it helps us to become more empathetic to everyone else as well. Everyone has flaws, and when we develop stronger empathy for others, we strengthen our relationships.

6) Self-love enables us to set healthy boundaries

Just like some people think that self-love is selfish, some people think that saying yes to everything is a great thing. However, a part of self-love means knowing when it is healthy to say no to things and to preserve your energy for the things that matter the most.

3 Ways to start practicing self-love today

1) Accept those compliments from others

Many of us have a tendency to dismiss or brush off compliments made by other people, and I’m not quite sure why that is. People may be worried about being seen as vain, or full of themself if they agree with a compliment made by someone else. However, when we internalize those comments and embrace the compliments we get from the people around us, it begins to get easier for us to begin to think those great things about ourselves.

2) Develop a good self-care routine

Having a good self-care routine is one of the biggest ways we can show love to ourselves. When we take good care of ourselves, we are showing ourselves that we are worthy of love.

3) Spend time getting to know yourself

You won’t know how to really take care of yourself in the proper way unless you know who you are as a person. Your likes, dislikes, hobbies, and pet peeves all help form who you are as whole. By figuring that out, you make it easier to love and take care of yourself. You could get to you know yourself in a number of ways: workbooks, journals, retreats, and spending time in nature are all great ways to get to know yourself on a deeper level.

Do you think self-love is selfish?

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